How to identify a Latino ~ Learn Spanish language fast | free memory tricks | Spanish vocabulary lessons.
-->

Friday, August 3, 2007

How to identify a Latino


You know you are a Latino (or Latina), if:


1. You have ever been spanked with chancletas.

2. You have later been spanked with la correa, or the plancha chord.


3. You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chancletas on the linoleum floor.

4. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.

5. You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.

6. You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.

7. You get scared whenever someone mentions el cucuuuuiii or el cuuuuuco.

8. You have gone to the Pulga every weekend for years. Two points if you actually enjoyed it!)

9. You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the living room.

10. You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in your livingroom.

11. You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.

12. You swear Choco Mil is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.

13. You have a perpetually drunk uncle.

14. You know at least one person in your family named María, Carlos, Papo, Juan, José, Tony, Tito or Luis.

15. You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tío.

16. You have ever had to beepiar a friend on his or her pager.

17. You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.

18. You go to a wedding or quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.

19. You drink all beer with limon and salt. (Two extra points for a splash of Tapatio)

20. You have a chola in your barrio named La Flaca: who's bigger than a house.

21. You have a cousin named Guero who's darker than night.

22. You know a chola named La Shy Girl who is loud and obnoxious.

23. You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.

24. You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.

25. You have at least 2 statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe, or Santa Barbara).

26. You draw others' attention by saying chhh chhh or Pssssst.

27. You drive a Cheby (Chevy), an Ohsmobeel (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon (VolksWagon).

28. You call all sneakers, tennis shoes.

29. Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.

30. You swear a malta is a drink of the kings.

31. You are still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.

32. You always try to find out what town another fellow Hispanic's family is from even though you have no idea where that town could possibly be.

33. You call a rug, Carpeta; typing, tipiar; parking, parkear; stress, estress; library, libreria (instead of biblioteca); or, to knock, knockiar.

34. You need a cup of coffee after every meal.

35. Your sister has more mustache hair than your father.

36. One of your aunts or your mom weighs over 300 lbs.

37. Your cousins are delinquents.

38. You think Cristina beats Oprah any day.

39. Your uncle owns more gold than a jewelry store.

40. You have your country's flag hanging from your rear-view mirror.

41. Your mom made you keep lettuce under your bed the night before the Three Kings' Day so that the camels had something to eat and the leave you a gift in return.

42. Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day.

43. You can dance Cumbias and Salsa without music.

44. You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.

45. You attend at least 3 weddings a year.

46. You have a picture of Jesucristo in your house.

47. You have a bottle of Bacardi in your house right now.

48. You just cannot imagine anyone not liking Spanish food.

49. You dread those boring stays with family in the campo.

50. You refuse to use el diario for anything but reading, except, maybe, as the only proper way of wrapping fish.

51. You can speak with your face: For example, you twitch your nose like a rabbit to ask, what do you want.

52. You do that funny, pointing thing with your nose and if the other people doesn't understand you, you use your lips for emphasis.

53. You are an adult and you are still forced to be with your family by midnight every New Year's eve.

54. You think your name begins like this: Ave Maria Purisima.

55. You walk around saying, chacho or chacha or ay bendito.

56. Your mom has put a balled-up piece of thread on your baby cousin's forehead to stop her hiccups.

57. You have at least thirty cousins.

58. You are 50 years old and you still call your parents, mami y papi.

59. You start clapping every time your plane lands on the runway.

And last, but not least...

60. Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything.

This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet.

Bryan @ One Man's Goal said...

Fantastic blog. I'm not sure where to begin!

Learning Spanish is definitely a neccessity for me. What do you suggest?

WorldWideClasified.com said...

good job..well done i've fetured you in my carnival..keep up the good work..jim

Gaje Master said...

I stubled onto this post after you left a comment on my blog. My mother is Hispanic and straight out of Old Mexico. I never got the chance to learn Spanish(I was raised by my dad who is a white boy) I am probably the whitest mexican that you will ever meet and I found this post to be funny and true. I am trying to learn Spanish and I am glad that I found your site. I am going to bookmark it.

Priscilla said...

okay, that had me laughing.
I have a lot of latina and latino friends so I have been sharing your blog with them.

You probably should add one of our favorites:

The Disney movie with Julie Andrews is called 'Maria Poppina'

Yeah, that's the sad sorry truth...

Have you ever played Monopoly in Spanish?
Forget about it...it's too crazy to explain.

Lisa said...

Enjoyed your blog. I'm trying to pick up a little Spanish.

San Francisco Giants said...

I am a fluent spanish speaker and this site is great! Thanks for spreading the love of your language.

vibram five fingers said...

Aliza Green is a chef, food writer, and teacher based in Philadelphia. She's the author of Field Guide to Produce (Quirk, 2004), Field Guide to Meat (Quirk, 2005), Field Guide to Herbs & Spices (Quirk, 2006), and Starting with Ingredients, and coauthor of the James Beard Award-winning cookbook Ceviche!: Seafood, Salads, and Cocktails with a Latino Twist.

nfl jerseys said...

Spanish is popular now!Your blog is very interesting! I like these jokes!Thank you very much!

rosetta stone said...

I am a fluent spanish speaker and this site is great! I never got the chance to learn Spanish

Rosetta stone learning software worthy of trust, the effect is very obvious,
guarantee our product, progress quickly

Juicy Couture said...

thank you for your useful sharing here!We get a lot from your post!

jimmy choo said...

This is good information.from the article i learn more useful things.Thank you for sharing.Enjoyed your blog. I'm trying to pick up a little Spanish.

Christian Louboutin said...

Christian Louboutin shoes, to take care of financial records is not child’s play, can be annoying a lot, because it requires the full attention and vast resources.

mac cosmetics said...

Hey great blog, just looking around some blogs, seems a really nice platform you are using. I’m currently using WordPress for a few of my blogs but looking to change one of them over to a platform similar to yours as a trial run. Anything in particular you would recommend about it?

Tiffany jewelry said...

Basically, you train and level up and increase their statistics and powers. The other one is strategy games. They are really fun as you can control the whole army and send them to war or you can grow plants and take care of your garden.

Juicy Couture Outlet Online said...

I am trying to learn Spanish and I am glad that I found your site. I am going to bookmark it.

Rosetta Stone Spanish said...

Christmas is how exciting moments, give a person the feeling, Christmas songs is happiness

Nike shox said...

Thanks a lot for enjoying this beauty

article with me. I am apreciating it very much!

Looking forward to another great article. Good

luck to the author! all the best!

Nike shox said...

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work.

discount asics shoes said...

Is a very good article, so I feel good for so little. Hope to see you more than the article!

coach outlet said...

It’s an amazing blog.This was a very well-written and enjoyable post to read.Thanks for the info sharing with us.The way you have described all the things are superb.Keep it up.Keep blogging.

coach outlet stores said...

I think your blog post was secretly a awesome beginning to a potential series of blog posts about this topic. So many people pretend to comprehend what they’re talking about when it comes to this topic and generally, very few people actually get it. You seem to grasp it though, so I think you ought to run with it. Thanks a lot!

gucci outlet online said...

I think your blog post was secretly a awesome beginning to a potential series of blog posts about this topic. So many people pretend to comprehend what they’re talking about when it comes to this topic and generally, very few people actually get it.

asics shoes outlet said...

Spanish colonists coexisted with Puebloan peoples and Navajos. Finally, after the Mexican-American War, New Mexico and all its inhabitants came under the governance of the English-speaking United States, and for the next hundred years, English-speakers increased in number.

MAC Cosmetics said...

This information is really useful and definately is comment worthy!

asics shoes sale said...

Gangs in Gwinnett: How to Identify ThemGwinnett County police have identified... Party Crew PC213 N/A Brown Thugs BTS N/A Loca Union Latino LUL

Coach Outlet Online said...

I am trying to learn Spanish and I am glad that I found your site. I am going to bookmark it.Thank you for sharing

gucci outlet said...

How to identify your research topic? State your interest (topic) as a question: Identify the main concepts or keywords.

Promotional mugs said...

These were really great information given by you, about identifying a Latino, I have also learned that Latino is prevalent on the West Coast.

Ray Ban Sunglasses Sale said...

Sounds like an excellent experience. I love the part about your letter writing in the past, that is a keen observation.

R4 DS said...

In these blog there are so many things which is really very excellent and great it can be learning spanish is necessary these all things are great to know about it.

Canadian Drugs Online said...

It looks really very excellent and fantastic i like it so much it can be provided so many things which is definitely great.

Harley Parts said...

These blog is really very excellent it can be definitely very fantastic and cool these is one of the great job i like it so much.

abendmode said...

These all are looking really very fantastic and great it is one of the definitely spanish in all these there are so many things which is great.

http://www.lots-wholesale.org/ said...

It enlarge my knowlege on the point!Thank You for the post. I love to read interesting post that has knowledge to impart. I hope to read more articles from you

fleet management said...

Latin language is a analysis of accent is for languages ​​spoken alone close.To a Germanic language, for example, Afrikaans - South Africa does not beggarly u are culturally abutting to the U.S. or Germany.

Harley Davidson Accessories said...

There is no unique identification of identifying Latino peoples but in your blog you have a interesting information about the identify a Latino peoples.

area rugs cheap said...

Latino peoples have some unique characteristics and identity so that every one can easily identify the Latino. You have shares some really interesting stuff in this blog.

oakley frogskins said...

i wanna study spanish,but they seems so difficult.

juicy Couture charms said...

Keep up the good work.nice post.

oakley sunglasses said...

I impressed to read your article. I love the thought which you share in your post. Thanks!

oakley frogskins said...

I just couldnt walk out of from yuor web blog before say which i really enjoyed the quality information that you offer to the readers... Might be returning frequently to check up on new stuff you blog post!

richmond virginia real estate said...

I have ever seen Latino so it is very difficult for me to identify Latino easily, but in your blog you have described in really nice words about it so it an help u to identify.

Hair Straighteners said...

I am really glad to know about Latino people from your blog, in this article you have defined in deep about the Latino people so now we can easily identified them.

on line lotto said...

This is good information.from the article i learn more useful things.Enjoyed your blog. I'm trying to pick up a little Spanish.Thanks for sharing this wonderful information.

ECommerce Marketing said...

Seems a really awesome platform you are using. I’m currently using WordPress for a few of my weblogs but looking to modify one of them over to a foundation just like yours as a test run.

Riponti said...

Mantab postingannya, betul2 bermanfaat. Terima kasih.

王茜 said...

I’m currently using WordPress for a few of my weblogs but looking to modify one of them over to a foundation just like yours as a test run.
I'm a lesbian, i'm proud of as one LES. lesbian pride! lesbian can contact me
手机 my mobile number: +86 18998033039
电话 my phone number: +86 15818393661
full silicone love dolls
Infant love dolls
Nike Air Jordan shoes